We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.
For a very long time men were seen as warriors, responsible for taking care of their families, tribes, and communities. This attitude of seeing males remained imposed by cultural traditions and contributed immensely to the limitation of a modern man’s emotional world. However, present day psychology explains the traditional distribution of roles between men and women in a new way, of “roles fluidity” and sheds new light on the complex role of male emotions, relationship dynamics, and behaviour in men’s issues.
In my work experiences with counselling men, becomes especially evident the expectations and demands of our so-called modern world on male roles that often result in high levels of stress, which are mostly related to personal and work relationships. Therefore, as male therapist counselling men I see individuals more than ever confronted with symptoms such as increased levels of stress, anxiety, depression, anger, addiction, love-relationship problems, and work-related issues.
A large number of men seeking the help of an expert in male counsellor do experience negative emotional states since they do not feel able to handle adequately relationships and situations at home or work. These emotional difficulties, in most cases, find their roots in past negative experiences in the familial or social environment that have compromised their self-image or self-esteem. Fulfilling the man’s traditional role of being the sole provider in a couple relationship is more and more unrealistic in today’s economy. Nowadays, men and women share the financial and practical support of the family or the relationship's finances by individual contribution based on personal abilities and circumstances.
Tradition has it that males are not supposed to express and show certain emotions – this is especially so for men raised predominately by female and by that separating further the psychological gender experiences. A man who might feel male counselling could be of help to him often hesitates to do the actual step because of feeling too shameful to show his emotions and vulnerability.
In the case of an abusive childhood environment or being raised by an overprotective or overpowering parental figures, men often become excessively frustrated or even angry and not able to tolerate criticism or complaints.
As mentioned before, many men equal asking for help with showing weakness. However, male counselling is particularly focused helping men to express their problems, whether in counselling for individual issues or counselling or relationship problems. It is therefore not necessary for a man to struggle alone since there are proven methods uniquely designed for men to conquer their problems.
Depending on what a man needs, counselling sessions may be required for only a few meetings, or if it takes longer to get the changes one wishes to achieve, meeting for several months can be a better option. Those meetings can be in person or online, depending on the locations of the counsellor and the most helpful method for the individual.