We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.
For a very long time men were seen as warriors responsible for taking care of their families, tribes, and communities. This attitude of seeing men, which was imposed by cultural traditions, contributed immensely to the limitation of a modern man’s emotional world. However, present day psychology explains the traditional distribution of roles between men and woman anew, and sheds new light on the role of male emotions, relationship dynamics, and behaviour in men’s issues.
Counselling for men becomes especially significant since the expectations and demands of our so-called modern world often result in high levels of stress, which are mostly related to relationships and work. Therefore, men counselling therapists see themselves more than ever confronted with symptoms such as increased levels of stress, depression, anger, addiction, relationship problems, and work-related issues.
A large number of men seeking help of an expert in men counselling experience destructive emotional states, since they do not feel able to handle relationships and situations at work adequately. These negative emotional states, in most cases, find their roots in negative messages both at home and at work. Fulfilling the man’s traditional role of being the sole provider is more and more unrealistic in today’s economy. Nowadays, men also stay at home while woman are sole providers.
Tradition has it that men are not supposed to express and show certain emotions – this is particularly true for men raised predominately by woman. A man who might feel men counselling could be of help to him, often hesitates to do the actual step because of feeling too shameful to show his emotions and vulnerability. In case of childhood abuse or being raised by an overprotective mother, men are often excessively angry or not able to perceive criticism, insults, or complaints.
As mentioned before, many men equal asking for help with showing weakness. However, men counselling is especially designed for men to express their problems, whether in individual counselling or in couples counselling. It is therefore not necessary to struggle alone, since there are proven methods uniquely designed for men to conquer their problems.
Depending on what a man needs, counselling sessions are required for only a few meetings, or, if it takes longer to get the changes one wishes to experience, meeting for several months can be useful. Those meetings can take place on site or online, depending on the locations of the counsellor and the help-seeking person.